1 - ICE KISS
Celebrate the first day of winter with an ice kiss. Put an ice cube in your mouth until your mouth becomes cold. Remove the cube, track down your love and plant a kiss that will send chills!

- 2 - ELECTRIC SHOCK KISS
The two of you shuffle your feet furiously on carpet. When you both have an electric charge, lean over and slowly aim for each other’s lips. With your lips about one-half inch apart, move in even slower until a spark jumps between the two of you. Instantly after this happens, kiss one another…the please us the kiss right after the shock!

- 3 - CAMPING KISS
On a beautiful cool night, you and your love crawl into a sleeping bag outside. Cuddle and kiss.

- 4 - REWARD KISS
Next time your love performs some disliked home chore like cleaning the bathroom, mowing the lawn, or taking out the garbage, show your appreciation by tucking a candy kiss in a strategic location.

- 5 - POST-IT KISS
Use 3M Post-It notes to make a trail through your house that leads to your lips. Put a lipstick print or lip symbol on each note with an arrow pointing to the next note. You, of course, are at the end of the trail with a Post-It note over your lips that says, “LIFT FOR KISS”

- 6 - KISSING IN THE RAIN
The next time it rains, grab an umbrella, rain coats, and your love. Then go outside and kiss in the rain. If the spirit of the kiss moves you, remove the umbrella and kiss ’till the two of you are soaked.

- 7 - HERSHEY`S KISSES
Prepare a small bag of Hershey`s kisses and slip it into your love’s purse, briefcase, or lunchbox. Attach a note that reads “SORRY, I CAN’T BE THERE IN PERSON, BUT THINK OF ME AND DO THE FOLLOWING: Close your eyes and place the candy between your lips. Drop the candy in your mouth and roll it on your tongue until it melts.

- 8 - TRACY AND HEPBURN KISS
Make flash cards, and the two of you re-enact the following kissing scene from WOMAN OF THE YEAR

(1942): (Reclining face to face on a couch, woman on top.) SAM: Something I’ve got to get off my chest.
TESS: I’m too heavy?
SAM: I love you.
TESS: Me, too.
SAM: Positive.
TESS: That’s nice. Even when I’m sober?
SAM: Even when you’re brilliant. (The two of you kiss.)

- 9 - KISSES IN A BALLOON
Cut out small red tissue lips, and place them inside an opaque balloon filled with helium (any party store could do this for you) Tie the balloon to your love’s chair at dinner. Desert is a shower of kisses delivered by a sharp pin.

- 10 - TOLL KISS
Next time you are driving your love somewhere, stop the car before crossing a bridge or going through a tunnel, and say the toll must be paid before you can go any further. Of course, the toll cost in one kiss.

- 11 - MORSE CODE KISS
If you know Morse code, great, If not, this is a great way to learn. Find a Morse Code chart. Using long and short kisses, spell out a message to your love and have him or her try to decipher them.

- 12 - KISSING METER KISSES
We have parking meters, so why not kissing meters? Turn a box into your own kissing meter and wear it around your neck. Give your love kissing tokens to start your kissing meter. Have an “expired” sign appear when you need another kiss.

- 13 - AUDIO STIMULATION
Make a cassette of kissing noises and place in your love’s cassette player (walkman, car or home) with a note attached.

- 14 - BREAKFAST IN BED KISS
Slip out of bed early and prepare a special “Kissing” breakfast to serve to your love in bed. Pick foods that you can easily pick up and feed to your love. Kiss between bites!

- 15 - STAIRWELL KISS
This kiss is to be done at a party or at a gathering with your love. Steal away to a private location like behind a door or tree, or on the stairwell and passionately kiss each other. The risk of being discovered in the act is the key element.

- 16 - SCUBA KISSING
Wearing a diving mask and fins, simulate swimming underwater. Snorkel across the room to your love and kiss him or her.

- 17 - EYE TEST KISS
Make an eye chart like the ones that you see in a doctor’s office where the letters get progressively smaller. Have the chart read, “IF you can read this you are standing close enough to kiss me.” Now find your love and give an eye exam.

- 18 - THYMELY KISS
Thyme, according to the Greeks, is the herb which makes one irresistible kissable. Prepare a meal for your love using the herb. Moments after the first bite, rush to your love’s lips with a passionate kiss. Come up for air, announce the Greeks were right, then rush back with another passionate kiss.

- 19 - SHOPPING LIST KISSES
Turn your shopping list into a scorecard the next time the two of you go shopping. The one who finds the item gets credit toward one kiss. Kisses are collected either on delivery to the grocery cart, or later at home.

- 20 - BAD HABIT KISS
Offer to stop a bad habit if your love will pay you kisses. For instance, a kiss for each cigarette not smoked, putting the toilet seat down, and/or every phone call kept under three minutes is rewarded with a kiss.

- 21 - CLOUD SHAPE KISS
Take your love to the backyard or out in a field: lie down on a blanket, and together inspect cloud formations. When both of you see the same thing, reward each other with a kiss.

- 22 - CHECK KISS
With your personal check, make a check out to your love for 1,000 kisses. Tell your love he or she can cash it in any time.

- 23 - TOE KISS
Prepare a foot bath for your love at the end of a long day. After the good soak, you towel dry his or her feet, give a massage and seal each toe with a kiss.

- 24 - CHOCOLATE HEART KISSES
Buy several boxes of little chocolate hearts that have sayings on them. Pick out all the “KISS ME” hearts and put them in a heart shaped box with the note “REDEEMABLE ANYTIME, day or night!”

- 25 - RENDEZVOUS KISS
With a note or phone call, tell your love to meet you at a certain place and time (e.g. park bench, street corner, ice cream stand) for a present. When your love arrives, have a bow stick to your lips.

- 26 - BATH KISS
Surprise your love with a kiss while he/she is showering or in the tub. (WARNING: Prepare to get wet)

- 27 - MACHINE GUN KISS
In rapid succession, plant 12 quick ones on your lover’s lips.

- 28 - KISS-A-THON
Passionately kiss your love for at least five minute longer than usual.

- 29 - PINK PANTHER KISS
Humming the Pink Panther theme, prowl toward your partner. On the high note, pounce and pucker. Suggestion-wear only pink!

- 30 - THIRST QUENCHER KISS
For no reason, stare at your love’s mouth while licking your lips as though dying of thirst. Inevitably, your love will ask what you’re doing. ANSWER: I want them! I have to have them! I yearn to drink from them! Then ask for a kiss to quench your thirst!

- 31 - GREAT EXPECTATIONS KISS
Inform your love one morning that he or she will soon receive a fabulous kiss. Later, call you love with a reminder. When next you see your love, pull out the stops and plant a long, hot, passionate kiss.

- 32 - GOODBYE * 2 KISS
Send off your love in the morning with a quick kiss. As your love turns to leave, pull him or her back for a second, more passionate kiss

- 33 - RIDDLE KISS
Ask you love to solve the following riddle:
I am just two and two
I am warm, I am cold,
I am lawful, unlawful
A duty, a fault
I am often sold dear,
Good for nothing when bought;
an extraordinary boon,
and a matter of course,
and yielding with pleasure
When taken by force.
If your love solves it, ask for a demonstration as proof. If he or she cannot show the answer, of course, the answer is a kiss.

- 34 - KISS MANDATE
Command your love to kiss you. Elaborate on the technique you expect (e.g. long and wet, or the way Rhett kissed Scarlett) and where and when you will get it.

- 35 - UNEXPECTED KISS
When the two of you are doing the usual, lean over and give your love a sweet kiss on the cheek for no good reason and whisper…I LOVE YOU!

- 36 - POST OFFICE KISS
Notify your love you have personal mail to deliver. Pull your love into the nearest dark closet; close the door and play POST OFFICE: No instructions included!

- 37 - KNOCK-KNOCK KISS
Stage the following knock-knock joke with your love:
KNOCK KNOCK
Who is there?
Kiss
Kiss who?
Kiss who? Why me, of course!

- 38 - BEGGAR`S KISS
That’s right, on your knees with your hands clasped, plead for any kiss you love is humbly willing to give you!

- 39 - TOOTHPASTE KISS
Brush your teeth together. When your love’s mouth is all sudsy, plant a big wet one on the lips. WARNING: MAKE SURE TOOTHBRUSHES ARE OUT OF THE WAY!

- 40 - PALM KISS
Holding your love’s chin with your palm, smile and deliver a sweet kiss to his or her lips!

- 41 - 30 KISSES
Inform your love that in honor of the 30th of the month, you will kiss him or her 30 times during the day!

- 42 - CAT KISS
Rub against your love’s legs while meowing and purring. Now that you have your love’s attention, touch noses. Playfully paw your love while moving in for a kiss.

- 43 -  EYELID KISS
While kissing your love, watch for his or her eyes to close. Sweetly place a light kiss on each eyelid. Note: Be careful!

- 44 - EAR KISS 
Whisper to your love how special he or she is to you, and then seal your message with an ear kiss!

- 45 - VALENTINE KISS
Celebrate Valentine’s Day with kisses in the shape of a “V” on the face of your lover.

- 46 - FOOTBALL KISS
After a pass during a football game, kiss your love.

- 47 - SLEEPING BEAUTY KISS
Awaken your love from slumber with a tender kiss on the lips!

- 48 - No-Cal Kiss
After dinner, give your love a no-calorie desert…your lips.

Picking great stocks

14 Nov 2008

Manu Jain (M.Com, MBA)

Failure to perfectly time the market will more often than not result in an investor dragging his portfolio to levels much below what it would have been if market timing had simply been avoided altogether. But market timing doesn’t always lead to failure. It can help investors in cases of extremes of over or undervaluation. It’s just that the odds are more in favor of a wrong decision.

Great companies are not captive of market timing

Stock picking is an important skill, which can be done without market timing and requires skills. Markets peak and sink at irrational times of greed and fear. That is why market timing does not always work. For one look for the following: -

These companies will bring to an investor great returns if bought at the right time and valuations. Go for the long haul. Investors who have made a fortune in the stock markets will tell you better how these companies can generate supernormal returns over say 5 to 10 years if bought at the right price. And for god’s sake one bad quarterly performance does not mean that all is over for the company! Good managements will always review their mistakes and bounce back.

Once you have determined that a company is a good bet for the long run you need to do your discounted cash flows properly to ascertain the present value of the company. Talk to the management and find out whether the historical growth rates will sustain in the future also or not. Do the following:

Tools like PE multiples, asset values and EBITDA come in handy especially in cases of mergers and acquisitions. The PE/ROE Multiple is better than other multiples as it also takes into account the capital efficiency of the firm. While doing all this industry PEs, EBITDAs etc are to be taken into account. We’ll discuss more such issues in my articles that follow. Till then, happy investing!!

William sharpe propounded the capital asset pricing model in 1962, for which he was honoured with the Nobel Prize in Economic Sciences in 1990. 

The reason why the most prestigious award was bestowed upon him was that with this invention, the subjectivity revolving around stock prices boiled down to one formula. The cornerstone of that model was ‘beta’ , which compares the sensitivity of a stock’s price movement to that of the broader index. 

This can be easily explained with the help of an example. Suppose the beta of Infosys Technologies is 1.2; this implies that with every 1% change in the index, the stock price of Infosys should move by 1.2% in the same direction. Higher the beta, higher will be the volatility in the stock price, and hence, riskier the investments . Lesser the beta, lesser will be the volatility in the stock price, and hence, it will be safer to invest in that stock. 

Also, if beta is positive, then the stock will move in the same direction as the index, which means that the stock price will go up if the index goes up and viceversa . If the beta is negative, the stock will move in the opposite direction visà-vis the index, but in reality, beta is rarely negative. The beta of the index or market is pegged at 1. 

Perhaps, all equity analysts use beta to estimate the cost of equity. In this edition, ET Intelligence Group tries to find out how powerful is the forecasting ability of beta in the context of the Indian stock market. Our sample comprises stocks of 44 companies, which have performed most consistently over the past decade. 

It includes companies like Reliance Industries, Tata Steel, HDFC, Hindustan Unilever and Colgate-Palmolive from the fast-moving consumer goods (FMCG) sector; Ambuja Cements and ACC from the cement sector; auto majors like Mahindra & Mahindra and Tata Motors; engineering giants like ABB, L&T and Siemens; besides leading stocks from pharma, financial services, hospitality and information technology sectors. This has been done to ensure that all sectors in the economy are duly represented in the sample. 

To check its effectiveness, we have taken the beta at the start of a year and then observed how the stock fared visà-vis the Nifty in that year. For instance, the beta of ABB was 0.76 on December 31, 1998. 

This indicates that ABB’s stock was expected to rise less than the Nifty and fall less than the Nifty. In 1999, ABB’s stock price fell by 49.7%, while the Nifty was up by 66.2%. The beta logic did not hold in this case because if the beta is positive, both the stock and Nifty should move in the same direction, instead of the opposite direction. The exercise was repeated for 44 stocks over 10 years from the start of calendar year 1999 to ’08 till date. 

We ended up with 440 observations, as there are 44 stocks over the course of 10 years. The logic of beta holds for only 172 of such observations, which implies a success rate of 39%. This shows that the odds are against the investor if he takes a call based on beta. In some cases, the success rate can be even worse. The chart clearly shows that for ABB, the basic rule of beta holds good only for one year out of 10. It must be observed that beta is positive for all 10 years. The beta logic does not hold in years ’01 to ’08 because though the beta is less than 1, ABB’s stock has shown higher volatility. This shows that estimating one-year returns considering the beta at the start of the year can be a self-defeating exercise. 

At this point, we must inform our readers that the purpose of our exercise is not to belittle the work done by William Sharpe. We only want to highlight the fact that the theory does not yield results, at least in the Indian context. However, the story does not end here. 

Upon further analysing data, we found that stocks with a beta higher than 1 — i.e. stocks which rise more with every rise in the market and fall more with every fall in the market — have given close to three times the returns of stocks with beta less than 1. To establish this, we made two portfolios of stocks: 

Portfolio 1 

includes stocks which had a beta higher than 1 for a major part of the past 10 years. It includes stocks like Reliance Industries, Larsen & Toubro, Tata Steel, ACC, Tata Motors, Wipro et al. 

Portfolio 2 

includes stocks which had a beta of less than 1 during most years in the past decade. It includes stocks like Asian Paints, Hindustan Unilever, Hero Honda, Colgate-Palmolive and Indian Hotels. 

While the high beta portfolio has yielded a return of 19.7% per annum on an average, the low beta portfolio has given only 7.1% return per annum in the past 10 years. Though in hindsight, this pattern appears to be very obvious, it must be noted that the outperformance is after including ’08, which has seen the worst crash of all times. Also, the extent of outperformance is beyond the estimate of market intellectuals. 

This shows that investors are better off investing in companies having beta higher than 1, rather than investing in companies with beta less than 1. In simple words, investors are better off betting money on seemingly risky stocks. However, the investment must be for a very long term, since we have already seen in the case of ABB that investing for one, two or three years based on beta can be risky. 

Another reason why keeping an eye on beta is important is that it tells investors what the market thinks of a particular stock. Suppose there is a company which is performing better than average, but the stock market does not give due consideration to this fact, and therefore, the stock does not move. In such cases, the beta tends to be lower. An astute investor should always be wary of investing in such stocks, as it indicates that the stock market is not discounting the fundamentals in stock price. 

Though it is clear that beta is one of the important factors to be considered while making investments, what is more important is how one uses it.

“A Random Walk…” 

by Varsha Chitale  Varsha is a graduate of the London School of Economics, has over a decade’s experience in finance and consulting. She was a research assistant at the Indian Institute of Management, Bangalore. She later moved to the Strategic Management Centre, Pune, to explore areas of interest with overseas consultancy organisations and to monitor the Indian Business Environment for the benefit of Indian clients and overseas companies with an interest in India. She is now one of the core members of the ValueNotes editorial and management team.  “Although men flatter themselves with their great actions, they are not so often the result of great design as of chance.”  There is no sure way to investment success. In his classic book, “A Random Walk Down Wall Street”, Burton Malkiel has outlined ways to turn the odds in the investors’ favour.  Burton G. Malkiel is a permanent faculty at the Princeton University from where he took a doctorate in 1964, after having worked as a securities analyst for one of Wall Street’s leading firms. He has also been a trustee and advisor to large retirement funds. “How could I have been so mistaken as to have trusted the experts” commented John F. Kennedy after the Bay of Pigs fiasco. From time to time, investors have echoed similar sentiments with reference to investment analysts.  The eternal search for the perfect system or theory for the stock markets has yet to bear fruit. Most of the so-called experts in investment analysis have not really reaped above normal gains from their own prescriptions. The ‘random walk’ proponents question the very premise that it is possible to systematically pick winners in the market. Markets, they believe, behave randomly - like the tossing of a coin. The next toss could yield a head or a tail with equal probability and the outcome has no relation to the previous outcome. The price of a share could move up or down with equal probability in a given period with no correlation whatsoever with the direction in which it moved in the previous period. Further, if all the information available about a particular stock is already reflected in the price of a stock, the stock can never be mis-priced; the question of buying an undervalued stock in the hope of benefiting from future capital appreciation does not arise! Needless to say, not too many investors subscribe to these extreme views, for if they did, the profession of ’security analysts’ would be defunct. Yet, we have technical analysts, who forecast movements in share prices on the basis of charts of price history of share prices, and fundamental analysts who try to determine the intrinsic value of a share in the hope of identifying undervalued shares. Burton G Malkiel’s book “A Random Walk Down Wall Street” described as the ‘Dr. Spock of investment’ by Paul Samuelson, is a guide for individual investors in the oft-confusing world of investing.  Malkiel looks at two approaches to stock valuation - the ‘castles in the air’ and ‘firm foundation’ theories.  He gives colourful examples from the past, of how prices are driven by fads, market frenzy and psychology, to describe how investors build castles in the air, which are not based on any rationality. Investors buy shares, not because the prices reflect their true worth, but because they believe they can sell them at a higher price.  The firm foundations theory argues that prices of shares are based on their intrinsic values, which can be estimated. Prices sometimes fall below or rise above the intrinsic value, creating buying and selling opportunities. Malkiel dismisses technical analysis as a tool for forecasting future prices. If there were a system based charts of prices and volumes that worked consistently, it would be increasingly used, and that itself would undermine its efficacy. Every technique would therefore necessarily be self-defeating, according to him. Besides, extensive testing of various techniques used by technical analysts, according to him, have given results that do not favour the technician.  The track record of fundamental analysts is not any better, according to Malkiel. The performance of mutual funds, which supposedly employ the best security analysts to manage portfolios, adequately illustrates this point. “No scientific evidence has yet been assembled to indicate that investment performance of professionally managed portfolios as a group has been any better than that of randomly selected portfolios’, writes Malkiel. And that is precisely what the random walk theory states!  Malkiel therefore believes that investors should definitely reconsider their faith in the ’super-analyst’. At the same time, he is unwilling to subscribe wholly to the random walk hypothesis.  For one, it rests on fragile assumptions, a significant one being that there is perfect pricing in the markets. There is ample historical evidence to believe that the market is often ’swept up in waves of frenzy’. Secondly, information does not travel instantaneously as random-walkers would have us believe. And finally there is the question of converting the known information about a stock into a value for it. There is considerable scope for individuals to exercise their judgement and intellect in this exercise. Good stories often do go unrecognised for a while.  Malkiel goes on to formulate simple guidelines for individual investors. Before entering the treacherous alleys of the stock market, he prescribes that investors should ensure that they have adequate funds in safe and liquid avenues. Medical and life insurance, for example should be taken care of first and investors should try to get the best deals on these. Secondly investors should evaluate their risk taking ability and set reasonable investment goals.  For choosing stocks, Malkiel lists four general rules that he has used successfully. Investors should only look at companies that appear to sustain above average earnings for at least five years. Such companies offer potential for double benefit - a growth in earnings and also a growth in the price earnings multiple that comes from having a record of consistent growth. Secondly, Malkiel advises against paying for a stock, a price more than what can be justified on the basis of ‘firm foundation of value’. That’s easier said than done, though, as the intrinsic value is not so easy to determine. What is does mean is that investors should not fall prey to market frenzies. Malkiel however stresses the importance of the psychological element in the market. So, while investors should buy at reasonable prices it helps if the stock is the kind that will catch the fancy of the market. Finally he prescribes the maxim, ‘Ride the winners and sell the losers”. Investors in general should trade as little as possible. ‘Frequent switching accomplishes nothing but increasing your tax burden if you have realised gains, and subsidising your broker’.  Malkiel humbly admits that ultimately investing is an art and requires, besides talent, the ‘presence of a mysterious force called luck’. “Although men flatter themselves with their great actions”, Malkiel quotes la Rochefoucauld, “they are not so often the result of great design as of chance”. And yet, Malkiel believes that investing is ‘too much fun to give up’! ‘A Random Walk down Wall Street’ does not give the reader an instant formula for success in stock markets. Indeed no book can seriously claim to do so. Burton Malkiel’s book does however ensure that investors do not harbour illusions about what they can hope to get out of their investment advisors and the markets. The book has lots of witty anecdotes and oodles of common sense, which makes it a must-read.

Uncovering stock market profits

CareerBuilder.com. 

A C.V. is a marketing tool – it should showcase your experience and qualifications in the most succinct and relevant way possible. And that often means being selective in the kind of information that you include or being crafty in your wording.

But that doesn’t mean you should lie. A survey by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 96% of HR professionals always conduct reference checks on job candidates, and more than half say they sometimes find inconsistencies.

Recruiters get so annoyed by misleading information on C.V.s that “lying or misleading information” ranked as one of the top recruiter pet hates in a survey by C.V.doctor.com.

According to the survey, the most common misleading statements put on C.V.s are: 

But what if your job is equivalent to a Senior Technology Manager and your job title is “Senior Project Leader”? Is changing your job title on your C.V. to reflect your responsibilities lying?

The crucial line between marketing and lying on a C.V. isn’t always clearly drawn. But for those wondering how much exaggeration on your C.V. is too much, heed these tips from 25-year HR opinion leader and workplace commentator Liz Ryan:

1. You CANNOT change your dates of employment. 
Were you a contract person recruited full time after a period of time in the job? Say so on your C.V. You can also mention you did contract or consulting work after leaving the company’s regular payroll. But the dates must match your actual employment dates.

2. You CAN, to a limited degree, change the titles on your C.V. 
Ryan suggests that if your company used odd job titles, it’s okay to use an equivalent title that most people would recognise. However this does not mean it’s acceptable to inflate your job title to imply you had more responsibility that you actually did. 

“You cannot turn yourself from an Assistant Manager to a Manager with a wave of a magic wand,” Ryan says. Likewise, if you worked in the purchasing department, you can’t write that you were in marketing.

3. You CANNOT mess around with academic credentials.
If you didn’t quite pass the final year of a degree course, say so on your C.V. A professional-development course at a university is not the same thing as an actual academic course – and should not be treated as such. And you cannot change your degree from Chemistry to Business – that is just as serious a crime as inventing a degree, because that’s what you’re essentially doing.

4. You CAN leave out irrelevant jobs. 
If you are willing to explain a three-month gap in between jobs, you don’t have to mention that you took a horrible job at a call centre and resigned right away. You also don’t need to list every job you’ve had for the last 25 years. Stick with the most recent and relevant experience.

5. You CANNOT get away with lying if your company went under.
Some candidates feel that they can take major liberties with their C.V.s when they companies they’ve worked for not longer exist. But thanks to websites such as LinkedIn.com in the U.S., employers can talk to people who worked at your long-gone company and check the facts.

Kate Lorenz, CareerBuilder.co.uk Editor 

Job hunting can be a scary endeavour. The following true stories will raise the hair on the neck of even the bravest job seekers. You can learn from their hard-earned lessons. (Names have been changed to protect the traumatised.)

Horror Story No. 1: The Invisible Man 
“I’d been looking for a different job for several months and after much searching I was finally offered a new position,” Julie N., an administrative assistant, says. “Of course I accepted, but days after I’d given notice to my current employer, my new employer called and told me they had re-evaluated their financial situation. They were rescinding their offer! 

“Panicked, I tucked my tail between my legs and went looking for my current boss to tell her I wouldn’t be resigning after all. I made every effort, but she was tied up in meetings all day. The following morning, during a staff meeting she made reference to my upcoming departure. I was stuck. I had no choice but to reveal my predicament and ask for my old job back – in front of the entire office staff. She gave me two months to find a new job.” 

Lesson: Always confirm a new job offer before you resign from the old one.

Horror Story No. 2: A Nightmare on Elm Street 
“I once called regarding an ad for a ‘marketing rep.’ The interview consisted of walking door to door (in coat and tie) with another employee as we tried to sell car servicing vouchers,” Phil G., an account executive, remembers. “He would try to make a sale, and then ask me to try one as part of the interviewing process. In between, my interviewer would ask me questions about my career goals and dreams. 

We stopped for lunch at a McDonald’s and he had to borrow money from me so he could eat! The final stage of the interview included a closed-door motivation session with all of the current marketing reps. They sang songs, clapped, and chanted the company motto (which I don’t recall). I had to think fast. It was raining that day. I told my coach/interviewer that I had left my car window open. I got up, ran out and never looked back.” 

Lesson: When scheduling an interview, inquire about the role and location.

Horror Story No. 3: Friday the 13th
“One of my first jobs as a supervisor was to interview candidates for an administrative assistant position,” John S. recalls. “We scheduled a full day of initial interviews. Following a very wet and rainy night, some areas of our office roof were leaking and maintenance had a couple of buckets in the hallway. Not a great first impression, but well, it was a quaint old office building. 

“Each applicant had to complete a battery of written tests. As one candidate dutifully sat at a desk outside my office, I heard a ‘crack,’ a ’swoosh’ and then a huge splash. The ceiling tile just above the candidate had collapsed under the weight of the rain water and drenched her. Wet but unharmed, the experience clearly dampened her spirits and her expensive interview suit. She immediately informed me that she was no longer interested in the job.”

Lesson: Prepare for a rainy day and bring an umbrella.

Horror Story No. 4: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
“Looking to escape the policies, procedures and politics of a big company, I sent my C.V. to a small, privately-owned manufacturing company that was looking for a top executive. I received an invitation from the owner of the company to come to an interview. His office had a fireplace, very comfortable-looking sofas and looked more like a living-room than an office. The interview went well and I was excited about the flexibility of the job, the tremendous earning potential and the opportunity to travel around the world to visit clients,” Patrick L., a top financial executive says. 

“That is, until the owner asked if my wife would be willing to travel with me. I explained that wasn’t possible as she too was a professional and had her own full-time career. He then asked if I would be comfortable travelling with an escort as many of their international clients expected to be entertained and treated to lavish dinners with their significant others! Having invested an equal number of years in both my marriage and my career, I decided I wasn’t willing to put either at risk, even if this sounded like my dream job.”

Lesson: Don’t lose sight of what really matters.

Horror Story No. 5: House of Wax
“I drove 300 miles each way at my own expense to interview for a position at a particular company,” Matthew H., a marketing manager, says. “When I sat down for the interview, the interviewer (an assistant manager) only asked me ONE question, “Can you tell me about yourself?” After I gave a brief 90 second introduction, she indicated that was all the questions she had and asked if I had any questions for her.”

“Somewhat baffled, I proceeded to INTERVIEW HER — on her background and skills, her position, her department, the company, company culture, etc. With such a complacent and unenergetic attitude to recruiting qualified employees, I left that interview and the company unimpressed.”

Lesson: Thoroughly research a company and prepare a list of questions before heading out to an interview.

Horror Story No. 6: Psycho
“I had been looking for an opportunity to relocate to the North-East from London and move into sales management, when I received a call from a company in Liverpool about a position as a regional sales manager. They offered to fly me in for an interview with two of their senior sales managers. I had heard industry rumours that the company wasn’t doing too well and that their technology wasn’t exactly keeping pace with the competition. But I was impressed that they were going to pay for me to fly in from London, and was flattered that they were interested in me,” Tricia C., a national sales manager, recalls.

“When I arrived, I discovered that the address they provided was not a company office, but instead it was a low-budget B&B close to John Lennon airport. The room number they gave me was for a guest room, not a meeting room. I was greeted by two old seemingly unwashed guys in badly-fitting suits who had spread a number of company brochures out on the bed. The rumours were obviously true!”

Lesson: Trust your instincts and first impressions. 

Paul MacKenzie-Cummins 

If you have been out of the job market for a while, you may feel intimidated by a job search. But don’t be. Whether you have been comfortable in your current job for a long period and want a new challenge or even change career, or you are retuning to work after spending time away raising a family, you can make a smooth transition back into the into the job market. Here are some tips and tricks that will prepare you to look beyond the obvious when searching for a new job.

1. Have a plan The old adage “fail to plan, plan to fail” is as true today as it has ever been. Ensure you have a clear understanding of your career plans and ambitions. If you are just embarking on your career it is important to join an organisation noted for its training. Some organisations have built up reputations as excellent training providers or promoting from within, for example, and are industry-recognised as leaders in their field.

2. Become Internet savvy Most online job boards, such as CareerBuilder.co.uk, offer job seekers the opportunity to register their details and CVs onto a database that can searched by potential employers, recruitment consultancies and head-hunting firms. This puts your details in the public domain and increases your visibility in your chosen marketplace. And, most job boards will allow you to block your current company from seeing your details, so you don’t have to worry if your boss discovers that you are actively looking for another job. Create your own blog. Writing a blog gives you the opportunity to become a leading authority on your business. It also gives potential employers an insight into your character and — if you keep it updated — dedication. Blogs can act as a personal PR tool too because you can link your blog to other blogs to create a network and this will further enhance your credibility and profile.

3. Become an expert in your field One of the most effective ways of getting noticed quickly is by attracting media attention. I am not suggesting that you have to go the extremes of appearing on “60 Minutes” or “Newsnight.” But, writing articles for your trade publications or running seminars and presentations to business leaders will position you as a leading authority. The media will know you and so will potential employers.

4. Put it about and open some doors The power of networking cannot be underestimated. Think of it like speed dating for workers — self-promotion to impress a potential suitor (employer). Admittedly not everyone is comfortable schmoozzing with a room full of strangers. But, networking can enable you to gain access to the hidden job market and it can take place at industry functions, breakfast meetings, online or even at the bus stop. From a self-marketing point of view, networking can increase your chances of getting your next job by as much as 33 per cent, according to Richard Bolles, author of “What Color is Your Parachute?” Keep your conversations short to give yourself the opportunity to speak to as many people in the room as possible. The more business cards and contacts you make the better.

5. Ask questions If you are considering changing your career, ask someone who does the job that you want how they got where they are. People love to talk about themselves, it’s human nature. And, the more people that you talk to, the more you will identify the key traits needed to achieve your ambition - and know what pitfalls to avoid.

6. Phone a friend Personal recommendation and word of mouth are one of the most effective forms of advertising. Some career analysts suggest that 80 per cent of vacancies are not advertised. After Y2K, a new school of marketing thought emerged that questioned the effectiveness of advertising in the modern age — when did you last see Starbuck’s advertising? They don’t. But everyone has heard of Starbuck’s. So, contact ex-colleagues to unearth potential opportunities, and get client testimonials to add to your CV. And, increase your chances of being found by posting your CV on the CareerBuilder.co.uk database and let potential employers find you. Paul MacKenzie-Cummins spent several years working within the online recruitment media. He is now a freelance writer specialising in all issues regarding careers, workplace issues, recruitment, interviews, and hiring trends.

The turmoil in the world economy has done what economists and experts could not do for years — pushing into the day-to-day life numerous financial jargons, many of which have even become household words now. 
Thanks to the quantum of problem and subsequent interest and impact for one and all – right from the policy-makers to business honchos to a common man, it is no surprise that ‘Bailout’ and ‘Credit Crunch’ have been crowned separately as the ‘words of the year’ for 2008.
Similarly, MTM or ‘Mark-To-Market’ has moved out of the companies’ balance-sheets to jump onto the lips of billions of investors, who are no more interested in just knowing what losses have they booked, but also what is their current ‘notional value’, which could become a reality later.
With the crisis pushing economic news out of the business section to the front pages of newspapers, ‘toxic’ assets are also no longer confused with the assets of companies involved in the business of some deadly acids. Toxic still means deadly, but it is something that could bring the banks to death with their inherent risk.
At the same time, short selling is not about the sale- purchase of small pants, but betting that the value of the shares one wants to purchase would go lower or shorter.  
Thanks to the crises and the space devoted to them in the media, many people had to go digging in 2008 for the meanings of hundreds of the financial jargons and are hoping to be wiser in 2009… And the year is almost here.  Besides, there were terms like subprime, derivatives, CDS(Credit Default Swaps), futures and options, Chapter 11 (a filing for bankruptcy), hedge funds, leveraging, repo and reverse repo, Libor, securitisation, SPIVs (special purpose investment vehicles), decoupling and many more hogging the limelight.
Some innovative terms also entered the dictionary, such as staycation (spending a vacation staying at home due to cash crunch) and fakeaway (having home-made food assuming it to be take-away from a restaurant), along with TARP (Troubled Assets Relief Program), write-down (of bad assets), unwinding (selling positions) and liquidity crunch.
The financial crisis also guided many such jargons, including stagflation, Funt, Ninja Loans and Jingle Mail, to dictionary expert Susie Dent’s 100 Words of the Year, which has ‘credit crunch’ on the top for 2008.
At the same time, Merriam-Webster dictionary has chosen ‘bailout’ as the top word of the year for 2008. Besides, Oxford University Press, publisher of Dent’s Words of the Yearbook, termed ‘credit crunch’ as word of the year and said it is “the word that is on everyone’s lips at the moment”. 
“The world’s financial markets have been one of the biggest generators of vocabulary in the past year… As fears of recession escalate, it may be productivity of the linguistic kind that is the safest bet,” Dent said, adding that ‘credit crunch’ is an example of an established term being resurrected in the current circumstances.  While stagflation is a term of stagnant economic growth with rising inflation, Funt is a short form for Financial Untouchable, and Ninja Loans stands for loans given to people with No Income, No Job, No Assets.
Jingle Mail is described as returning the keys to a mortgage firm after occupant of the house is not in a position to pay the loan.
Some other new entries in the list are IPOD (acronym for insecure, pressured, over-taxed and debt-ridden), homedebtor (homeowner with a large mortgage that is unlikely to be ever paid) and exploding arm (floating home loan rate that soon rise beyond the borrower’s ability to pay).
A number of media organisations in India and abroad came out with primers on these jargons to help people understand their meaning and implications, while Internet also proved to be a big help.
 ”With politics and economy foremost on the minds of many, it is no wonder that bailout — a word ubiquitously featured in discussions of the presidency and fiscal policy – took home honours as Merriam-Webster’s Word of the Year for 2008,” the dictionary has announced.
Besides ‘Bailout’ at the top, another word ‘turmoil’ also made to the Top Ten list of the dictionary for this year.
Interestingly, not a single financial jargon was there in its Top Ten lists, ever since the dictionary started compiling them in 2003. In previous years, there have been words like Facebook, Google, refugee, Tsunami, Blog, Hurricane, Democracy, Matrix, Slug and plagiarism in these lists. 
About ‘Bailout’, the dictionary says it is defined as “a rescue from financial distress” and it received the highest intensity of look-ups on Merriam-Webster Online over the shortest period of time. The financial issues, along with Presidential election, factored heavily in the concerns of its online visitors throughout the year, the dictionary adds.
All the top ten economy-related searches on internet search engine major Google in 2008 had something to do with the economic crisis, and those search items in order of ranking were financial crisis, depression, bailout, mortgage crisis, Wall Street, oil, stockmarket, subprime, credit crisis and housing crisis. 
Internet biggie Yahoo summarised economy-related searches on its search engine as “The USD 700-bn bailout. Foreclosures. The plummeting stock market. As 2008 came to a close, the nation’s economic turmoil battled with the presidential election for the hearts of searchers.”
Yahoo’s top ten economy-related searches were IRS Stimulus Checks, Oil prices, Gold prices, Gas prices, Dow Jones, Sallie Mae, Stock Market, AIG, Foreclosures and Debt consolidation.
According to AOL Search, the top ten news searches for the year included ‘bailout’ at the third place after the US Presidential election and Olympics. Besides, unemployment stood at fifth place, stock market at sixth, stimulus checks at eighth and high gas prices at the ninth place.
As the top ten ‘financial faux pas’ searches, AOL has named — Wachovia, Washington Mutual, Merrill Lynch, AIG, Morgan Stanley, Lehman Brothers, Freddie Mac, Bear Stearns, Fannie Mae and Goldman Sachs. These have become famous, after their failures or huge losses in the wake of economic crisis, not only in the US, but also across the world including India, where most of them did not have any direct presence.
In the wake of millions of jobs being eliminated by the companies, “How to write a resume” became the second most searched ‘how to…’ item for the year. 
When not searching for these jargons on the Internet, people were seen discussing whether their economy was in recession or was there just a slowdown.